Funny 😂

1. In an external examination, the invigilator saw that Akpos, had written some mathematical formulae on his hands. The following conversation arose.

Invigilator: Why did you write the formulas on your hand?.

Akpos: My teacher told us that formulas should be on our finger tips.

2. Akpos is angry because he has it in his mind that someone ate his wallet. He walks into a church to steal someone else's wallet, but he has a change of mind after during the service. He confesses to the priest afterwards about what his intention had initially been.

The priest asked what made you change your mind? Akpos replied in your sermon on the ten commandments when you got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery. O remembered where I left the wallet.

3. A Whatsapp conversation between Akpos and a girl named Tina...

Akpos: I Love You

Tina: Lol

Akpos: I need you in my life

Tina: Lol

Akpos: You are my everything

Tina: Lol

Akpos: iPhone 6 Or iPhone 7

Tina: iPhone 7

Akpos: Loooool

Tina: Do you want to buy it for me

Akpos: Loooooooooool

Tina: Talk to me na

Akpos: Loooooool

4. A signboard outside a restaurant said:

"Eat as much as you can and let your grandchildren pay the bill".

A man entered the restaurant, ate as much as he can and when the waiter gave the bill he pointed to the signboard, "Don't you see, only my grandchild needs to pay for this bill".

The waiter said, "Sir, this is not your bill. This is your grandfather's bill".

5. Teacher: If u have 10 doughnuts and someones asks for 2, how many do u have left?

Akpors: 10 doughnuts.

Teacher (understanding how naughty Akpors could be): Well what if the person forcefully takes 2 doughnuts, what do u have left.

Akpors: 10 DOUGHNUTS AND 1 DEAD BODY!

6. FRIEND: You were so drunk last night...

ME: No I wasn't!

FRIEND: You called a taxi to take you home.

ME: Yes so I will not be involved in an accident.

FRIEND: [SMH] The party was at your house!

7. Expensive girlfriend.

GUY: Hi girl

GIRL: Yes, how can I help you?

GUY: I want you to be my girlfriend.

GIRL: Do you work in a bank?

GUY: No.

GIRL: Do you earn salary?

GUY: No.

GIRL: Do you have an apartment?

GUY: No.

GIRL: Do you have a range rover?

GUY: No.

GIRL: Then, there no way on earth I'll be your girlfriend.

GUY: But, what do I need an apartment for when I have a duplex in lekki? What do I need a range rover for when I have a porche, two ferraris, and a bugatti? Why do I need a salary when I'm the owner of two multi million dollar companies?

GIRL: Ok, I'm ready to be your girlfriend

GUY: No, not a chance!

8. Expensive tie

CUSTOMER: How much is that tie?

SALESMAN: $100

CUSTOMER: Why? I can buy a pair of shoes with that money?

SALESMAN: But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck?

9. A psychiatrist patient climbed to the top of the double-storey hospital. Another patient, who was on the ground asked, "How did you get up there?"

"By a ladder you fool!" the patient on the top building answered.

Then the patient on the ground thought for a second and said, "Why don't you piss let me see if your pee will get to the ground!"

The other man responded, "You think I'm crazy?! You want me to pee so that you can pull me down!"

10. An old lady was sitting at the front roll during mass, while the reverend was talking to the congregation about good deeds. The old lady gave the reverend a scare with the way she looked at him.

After the mass, the reverend called the old lady and asked her why she stared at him in that manner and she replied, "It's just that you look exactly like the goat i lost 25 years ago, I was just wondering if he became a reverend."

11. MUM: Akpos, why are you rubbing my powder and lipstick on your chest?

AKPOS: Mum, my teacher asked me to MAKE UP my mind before coming to school.